I want to seek help for suicidal thoughts?

I don't think admitting my self to anything will help. I have thought this through. I have alot of younger peers that would be so dissappointed, it would hurt them so much. currently I i got an EEG taken and have talked to my doctors about my adhd. I refrain from telling them about my suicidal thoughts, because I fear their solution would be overexaggerated and may hurt me and others down the road. Who can i communicate this to? I failed at suicide once, none know this. I do not believe I am in immediate danger to myself. but i still get thoughts. I have been through alot in the past year (brain tumor, college troubles 3 deaths in the family and the loss of a friend). who do i open to? where can i seek help without harming my composure or future? i honestly think managing the stress and adhd is the answer to all of it, but how do control that, i need help with.